Saturday, March 13, 2010

Every Woman Should...



My Mom sent me this poem the other day.
Thought you might like to read it too!


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Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams, wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she's content to leave behind.

A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes her laugh...



...and one who lets her cry.

A good piece of furniture, not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A feeling of control over her destiny.



How to fall in love without losing herself.

How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

When to try harder...and when to walk away.

That she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

That her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over.

What she would and wouldn't do for love.

How to live alone...even if she doesn't like it.

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

Where to go when her soul needs soothing; be it to her best friend's kitchen table, or a charming Inn in the woods.



What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...a year.



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My favorite line is the one about knowing where to go when your soul needs soothing.

What's yours?



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73 comments:

AtOneWithHim said...

Unfortunately #1. I love my husband but I have always regretted not having my own career. I've been a stay at home mom since I was 17 and now I am 40. I have a wonderful family and my kids are great. Thankfully 2 are adults and the last is a teenager... I feel like I might be able to have my own soon...
I love the whole post Layla, and I wish I could have lived my life that way so I could teach my own 2 girls those things. I can pass on the words but they will have to be the ones to make sure they are their own person.


Oh God I need therapy.

Beautifully Inspired said...

They are all my favorite, I can't choose. Thanks so much for sharing this, it's is exactly what I needed to read!!

Nicole

www.sobeautifullyinspired.blogspot.com

Kerry said...

My favourite is about knowing when to try harder and when to walk away. From projects, from work, and unfortunately sometimes from people who don't nourish you. It's hard, but so worthwhile in the end. Thanks to you and your mum for reminding us of these words.

Simply Complex said...

"How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship."

All three of these are essential to being true to yourself, so it is my fave.

Kimberly said...

I go to the heart of a dear friend.

Screaming Meme said...

You don't know how much I needed this...Thank you for sharing this with us...Meme

CL Field said...

All such wise words...but "How to fall in love without losing herself..."

geri said...

I Love "a past juicy enough to retell it in your old age".
This one makes me laugh. I also have lots of juicy stuff to tell.
I just hope I can remember it in my old age, which is not to far away anymore. hehe
The past is what helps make you who you are today.I have loved every minute of it.
Thank you Layla for sharing your mom's letter and for the laughs I have had remembering my Juicy Stuff.geri.

Twice Remembered said...

Your mom always sends you the best stuff! Loved this one!

I liked "when to try harder...and when to walk away." :)

cranberry cottage said...

She also needs "Frank"

Småenglenes verksted said...

I've read this before, and I love it - thanks for sharing.

Kerri said...

What wise words of advice from your mum, Layla. I think this should be compulsive reading for every young woman, these are things she should know sooner rather than later.
Thanks for sharing this with us,
Kerri x

Lou said...

'Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.'

Wow! That one hit me hard... a tad sensitive with trusting at the mo. I really needed to hear that I shouldn't take it so personally. Thanks for sharing this.

Louise

Sarah said...

Great poem Layla! Practical & witty. :)
God's blessings,
Sarah :D

megs said...

that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over...i LOVE that. it hit me like a ton of bricks. it doesn't matter any more, so let go of it and be the person you want to be. thanks.

alikaye said...

"A youth she's content to leave behind." This line really resonates with me...I enjoyed my youth and have plenty "juicy" stories to tell, however I am really proud of my personal growth over the last few years... I am content with who I am and excited and passionate about where I am today!

Crafty Niche said...

I love this post.

Red Door Home said...

What a beautiful poem full of great advise.

Laura Trevey said...

So beautiful... and I wish I were in that last photo reflecting on these words!

Olde Common Scents said...

"'Knowing who to go to when your soul needs soothing'" What pretty pics! ;)

Stephenie from Decorating Addiction said...

My favorite line is:
How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

As a former teacher, I watched so many teenage girls be afraid to speak up for themselves. It's an important skill to be able to be confident and stand up for what you know is right -- and do so gracefully.

Awesome post!

My Cottage Charm said...

I honestly enjoyed it all. :) I love the picture of the house in the woods. :) I could see spending a week there with no tv, cell phones or anything else....just me and the chirping of the birds.........now THAT would do wonders for my soul! :-)

Julie said...

mine was this.... Every woman should know --"one friend that makes her laugh and one that lets her cry."
Beautiful words . thanks for sharing Layla. Have a wonderful Sunday in whatever you chose to do.... Julie in Holland ....

Caroline said...

I love this...so wonderful.

I love each and every one of them...

camdesign said...

All the lines are good and so true, I will be sharing this with my daughters... (31 & 27)
Fav Line: How to fall in love without losing herself...
I have found at least 1/2 do...
Oh and... that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it's over...one of my girls needs to hear this...I put it...the girls in high school can't hurt you anymore...
thank your mom from me for this and thank you for sharing...CAM x

Suzann said...

a wonderful poem and I instantly thought - these are things I want to teach my (almost 16 year old) daughter.

Reese said...

The entire post was beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing :) I can't wait to share this with my baby sister and my own children someday.

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

I love the one about the friend...one who makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. Great poem. Maya lives in the next town over from us and teaches on the faculty at Wake Forest University. Wouldn't it be neat to take a class from her? I love her work. Love & blessings from NC!

Michelle said...

Love this. I love M.Anjelou's quote "If people tell you who they are beleive them". They will never tell you that they are loyal or cruel or how they love, but they will show you over and over again.

It's poignant to me then, that her name was at the bottom of this post.

Grateful,
Michelle

Katherine said...

This is amazing. I have to share it with my friends.

Geo said...

There are two...but number one because I left a marriage with three little kids 17 years ago and I'm so glad I gave my kids that gift, I see so many girls/woman give up themselves when they think they're in love so I like that line too. And the black lace bra should be worn when using the power tools! :)
I love Maya.

Lee Laurie said...

Thanks for sharing this with us. Now I need to share it with a couple of my friends. It is so true. "When to try harder and when to walk away" really hit home with me. I will have to remember that in the future.

Carrie @ Dittle Dattle said...

Amen!

Gin said...

Love Maya but this is not her poem. It was written by Pamela Redmond Satran.

1 Funky Woman said...

This is so wonderful. My favorites are:

"When to try harder.... and when to walk away"
Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

I'm going to copy this and send to my sister, thanks!

Kelli said...

Knowing that your childhood is over. That is something I have struggled with for a long time. I needed that reminder. Thanks

Sole said...

I LOVE this!! It's all so true! For me, the part about having a career really hit home. I got married young and never went to college, something I have always wished I had done. Finally, after being a sahm for 9 years I'm going back to school to get my PT degree and it feels wonderful! Thanks for sharing this!

Sole :)

Centsational Girl said...

I love the entire message, thanks so much for sharing friend !

Kate

Katie said...

Oh, Layla, that was so beautiful. Thanks for posting it. My favorite line is, "One friend who always makes her laugh, and one who lets her cry." That is so true. True friends are sometimes hard to find. I've learned when you do, to value every minute with them. Loved them all.

Megan said...

My favorite place on earth has to be my Mom's home on Hood Canal. I spent every summer there growing up. It's the one constant, it's never changed. Other houses came and went but the canal has and always been home. It's where I go when my soul needs to breath....

Life in the Enchanted Forest said...

'Have loved this piece of truth for years, and feel newly empowered each time I run across it. Thanks for posting!!!!! Empowerment is such a natural high!

Athena said...

What a beautiful statement. I've heard it before and wished I had listened to #1.

"Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to."

Even though I was the breadwinner in my marriage, he controlled all of the money. It made leaving very difficult... but still very much worth it.

I adore your home, projects and precious marriage. Thank you for sharing with the world.

Renae said...

Such many good nuggets of wisdom...wish I knew them when I was much younger...choices most likely would have been different.

Anxious to hear all about Kevin's record deal (?). Good things happen to those that wait (on the Lord!)

Blessings...

xoxo

Becky said...

I like the "screwdrivers, power drill and black lace bra." I need to go shopping! And you can keep guessing on the item that is missing in that list :)

cchapman said...

Mine is on the back of my husband's motorcycle, with him on the front, of course, and we are driving up hills and around curves in Jasmine Hill in Wetumpka or past farms in Pike Road. Everything is more beautiful and smells fresher on a motorcycle.

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Love it.
My favorite line is, "A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age." lol

s as in tset said...

Whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

vosges paris said...

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... is the funniest one!
A feeling of control over her destiny. is a great one although you can never have 100%control of it ;)
desiree

Down Bedding said...

Such a wonderful poem - thanks so much for sharing :)

genealdarden said...

Thanks to you and your mom for sharing. I will share it with my girls.

Yvonne @ StoneGable said...

This is a wonderful poem. I am thinking about using this as a template and making up verses that are important to me. Wonderful and though provoking!
Yvonne

3 Peanuts said...

I love it all!

Molly K said...

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

This is my favorite line. My father taught me to try wall in high school, so that I would never have to depend on my husband to do it. When I graduated with my masters degree in education he gave me a compound miter box.

But yet I love my feminity and I love my lace bras.

Dondra said...

"When to try harder...and when to walk away."

That's one that I constantly have to learn...hope one day soon to "know" it.

Thanks for sharing Layla.

Lauren1964 said...

Hi Layla,

I like the whole post, but I think "A feeling of control over her destiny" sums it all up very nicely.

Lauren

Michelle Torres said...

This is something all of us women should read everyday I believe... So many true words and reminders of how strong we really are and should be, what uplifting words!!! I love them all, but I believe my favorite line would be, That her childhood may not have been perfect, but its over! Every single line here is so true! Thank you for sharing these!


Michelle Torres
cingulwasme@aol.com

GLENDA CHILDERS said...

It is a handy thing to know "what we can and cannot accomplish in a day, week, month, year." That would save us a lot of hassles, eh?

Megan said...

Followed a link to this post, and I love it - what a beautiful message!

www.bestoffates.com

Its So Very Cheri said...

Layla,
I have a couple of questions for you.
I recently moved my blog from blogger to my own site (with WordPress) and I am trying to grab buttons from all of my followers and blogs that inspire me. I can't find a button here-do you have one?

Second-What tutorial did you use, or can you give me instructions, on doing the rollover photo change?
Cheri www.itssoverycheri.com

LoveFeast Table said...

I agree...."where to go when your soul needs soothing" is my favorite line as well. I feel sometimes I don't take that time...until I'm completely frazzled and undone. I'm trying hard to make a point of taking that time before it gets to that point. Also, I'm trying to take the little bits of time before that too....to put a rainbow in the day...whether its taking a bubble bath...or putting some extra m&m's in the cookie batter! http://www.lovefeasttable.com/blog/peanut-butter-cookie
~Chris Ann

fairfieldhouse said...

Layla,

I've seen this before but always enjoy reading it. I think my favorite is:

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...a year.

Deborah

tia said...

When my soul needs soothing I turn to two of my favorite men, Van Morrison & Jackson Browne.
Thank you both for sharing your wonderful & beautiful enthusiasm for life.

emilymcd said...

Your Mom is very wise and beautiful... Must run in the family... :)

I like her line about a good piece of furniture. I would very much like a reading chair and have been eyeing one from Pottery Barn for a year. :)

Emily

Kristin @ My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia said...

I love the pictures! Such a wonderful saying, I read it a few years ago and lost it, so glad you posted it something we should all live by.
Thanks Layla-
Kristin

Gail said...

Where do I go when I need soul-soothing? Usually outside does the trick...a slower, contended walk with nature talking to the Lord that made all of creation. That sets my heart at ease.

-Gail

albionchrisman said...

I like "How to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship." I'd like to know this one better!

Heidi said...

This is so beautiful. The part that haunts me the most is about living alone even is she doesn't have to. My husband and I married 6 days after we graduated from college and I've never lived alone. Not that I want to, but I wish I knew how, maybe I could just practice for a weekend.

pogonip said...

Tell your mom thanks--wonderful advice at any age!

This is one I'll be passing on (and I hardly ever do that).

DanaMc said...

I go to the woods...or, at least a tree - to sit underneath it and be still.

JamesandKelsey said...

i`m in love with your mantel display!

Melissa said...

Amen sister, amen!

Many Blessings,
M.

Faye said...

Thank you so much for sharing this...I really needed it today. I also love the part about soothing. I need to spend time to find my place.

Heather said...

I love them all, especially the last line. It's good to keep things in perspective and be realistic. Too many women try to do everything and be everything. We need to give ourselves permission to relax a bit.

Thanks for sharing! I'm going to link to this from my blog.
Heather